Claiming the children

There are inevitably skeletons in every tree and by skeletons I mean - things not spoken about. Every family knows that when an older relation says the past should stay in the past or you shouldn't worry about what happened before that there will be something in that closet.

This post is going to look at two - both babies, who until my research, had been forgotten, not acknowledged and alone.

The first would have been my Great Uncle Arthur Oscar Edward Phillips born in 1895 and died a year later. This was four years prior to my Grandfather being born, so he would not have known about him and obviously it was never discussed. When I found his records I felt saddened to think this small person was not a part of our family tale, my mission find where he had been buried and claim him!

The second child Albert, belonged to my Great Aunt, she appears to have had a shotgun wedding just two days after his birth and sadly he died at26 days weeks old. I knew my Great Aunt and had a lovely relationship with her, but she never spoke about having a child and even my mother who had grown up next door to her was unaware of his existence. His tale I felt more tragic than Arthur's as her siblings would have known about the child but he appears to not have been recognised once he had died. She would remarry, but have no children and her husband would tragically be killed. I feel sad for her too that she never felt she could talk about her son, not even in her late years. Albert needed to be found and connected back to the family too.

Fortunately for me both boys were at Rookwood Cemetery, so on Thursday April 21st 2022 I set out with my daughter to find them. We located both of their plots, Albert's resting place was a rough guess given the nearest grave with a headstone that we could check for positional reference is about 2 plots up. Arthur's however was positioned that I know I was standing right in front of it and as I did I told him (as I had Albert) that we had found him and we would connect him to our family, he was no longer forgotten. The thing that surprised me on the rainy Thursday afternoon was that as those words left my mouth, for the second time that day, I became overwhelmed with a sense of grief - tears flowed. It was emotional - I had not expected that.

On leaving the cemetery I felt at peace that they had been located and now I can go about the process of having their graves marked and a memorial put there so others know that they belong to someone, they have a family, even if it has taken over 100 years for it to be put in writing.